danieluzupis.com
Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy.
2011/11/21 by Daniel Uzupis

Self-Doubt

Sitting on the couch, I glance at the faded, worn, and discolored pages of a collection of H.L. Mencken’s work; a tome of letters he sent during his most prolific years as a writer. During this time, he apparently displayed many of the same characteristics I wish I could exude, characteristics I see prevalent in some of my peers. It isn’t Mencken’s writing—his unusually acerbic wit—but rather a combination of simultaneous prejudice and tolerance that permeated his every action. The editor of this book, Carl Bode, has made this abundantly clear, and I wish I could formulate as cogent an argument for or against a given topic with which I have both logic and evidence to back it up entirely.

These are the thoughts that occupy my mind and sadden me to no end. I think about the words writ in classic literature by men and women so much smarter and more articulate than I. These are people who truly saw the world for what it was—nay, is—and not only did they see it, they had the perspicacity to qualify it, to quantify it, to enunciate it so eloquently in a variety of styles and mediums that they are still pored over to this day by anyone willing to learn their lessons.

  •   •   •   •   •
2011/05/08 by Daniel Uzupis

In honour of Mother’s Day, I killed Bambi’s

Driving home on I-176 there was a deer, grazing, smack-dab in the middle of the right lane, perpendicular to traffic and facing toward the right shoulder. I had my cruise control set with little time to swerve entirely to miss it without losing control of my vehicle, driving into the deer’s path as it darted out of the way, or possibly knocking into the car in the left lane. There was a car in my blind spot; there only because it felt the need to travel just slightly faster than I without a single concern that deer might be a possibility. From where he was, he probably didn’t see it, either. Go figure the one time I hit a deer is when I’m traveling precisely at the posted speed limit. I really hate those fucking animals.

I pulled over and began considering my options: who do I call? where the fuck am I on a map? how can I afford a tow from where I am? how can I afford a cab-ride from wherever that sneaky tow-truck driver might drop me off? wasn’t there a movie about that where those really attractive teenagers were murdered by a tow-truck driver and his crazy family? wasn’t that every horror movie? I’m surrounded by wooded areas, too. Fuck.

A white sedan pulled up along side me, then just slightly past. Exiting the vehicle was an older man, tall with white hair and a cheery demeanor who began chatting me up as he approached. He apparently used the deer as a ramp a la The General Lee almost immediately after I eviscerated it. I was told, “Yeah, whoever hit that thing destroyed it.”

“Yeah, that was me.”

I felt a smug sense of self-satisfaction saying that–don’t judge me–as I exited the car and began inspecting the damage. I caught only the tail-end of the deer–literally–which had demolished the bumper, passenger-side headlight, and crumpled the panel that forms the wheel-well. I was hoping that it was just slight cosmetic damage; however, it became clear that my car was now dragging along small pieces of itself. This broke my heart, specifically because I spent–what I consider a small fortune–getting the brakes fixed twice since December and the car will be paid off either next month or the month that follows. I can’t remember these things, who can be expected to remember these things? I mean, they subtract monies from my checking account monthly. They send a statement, but who has the time to read such things, who has the time, honestly? I assume that they’d just simply stop taking my money at a certain point and thank me personally for being such a wonderful customer with a firm two-hand handshake, “You were always punctual with your payments,” they’d say.

I spent the next few minutes gathering debris from around the headlight. At one point in my life I was intelligent enough to purchase a tyre-pump with a built-in flashlight, so the 72-year-old gentleman–chatty he was, too–was kind enough to hold it whilst I spent every ounce of my strength ripping pieces of the bumper from my car, smearing grease and deer-hair all over my hands and the sleeves of my white hoodie.

Distracted by my own machismo, I hardly noticed the police cruiser that stopped behind my car (you know what’s funny, I never named my car; I named the scooter, my bicycles, but I never named my car). Officer Bremmer was responding to a multi-vehicle accident a concerned motorist had phoned in. Had I really been out there long enough for someone to make that call?

Taking my insurance card and license, Officer B (I’m going to call him that now because I don’t remember if his name was Bremmer or Breemer or Breimer. Wait, did I write Breimer? I think it was Breimer.) Officer Breimer said that he would get all the paperwork started so I could immediately contact the insurance company when I returned home and write-off the situation as an accident. Well, not write-off the accident, but certainly let the insurance company handle it as one.

The 72-year-old retiree who helped me lumbered toward his car now that the police were there and I shouted after him, “Thanks so much, sir!” I didn’t get his name. I wish I had asked his name, he was a really nice fellow. Christ, that guy was tall for his age. My grandfather was tall like that. Well, everyone seems tall when you’re eight.

I take what little debris is left from my car and scoop it into the trunk as Officer Breimer walks toward me to hand me my license and insurance card.

“Thank you, officer… your name is?”

“Breimer. Officer Breimer.”

“Thank you, Officer Breimer for all your help. It’s a shame we always have to meet under these circumstances.” I think I’m funny. People say I’m funny, so I must be. Why would anyone lie?

“Drive careful!” he shouts back as I walk to my car, paper in hand.

“Ha!” I guffaw loudly, genuinely.

“Well, drive more carefully,” he says as he opens the door to his cruiser.

I am funny. Why would anyone lie about that?

  •   •   •   •   •
2011/04/19 by Daniel Uzupis

Why I quit Facebook last year

One of the most common uses of Facebook for me was a soapbox for discussing political, scientific, or religious issues; issues I felt were far more important that the minutiae of our daily lives. However, after repeated conversations like the one that follows and direct messages to me about the quality of my character, I decided that Facebook just wasn’t worth the effort anymore. I had little connection to the 250-some friends I had at that point, down from the 350 I had amassed the previous year. That’s right, I unfriended or was unfriended by roughly 100 people over the course of a year for my social commentary. Coincidentally, these people failed to see the common denominator between their pointless status updates about missing their husband or significant other and my poignant comments; they’re both irrelevant to the opposite party.

I’m back on Facebook now, but maintaining just over 50 friends; people I know and care about as opposed to friending people willy-nilly to validate my existence with high school acquaintances who wouldn’t give me the time of day back then, but are desperate to see what it is I’m doing with my life these days.

Without further ado, here’s perhaps one of the most ridiculous conversations in the history of Facebook (there’s a reference to Billy Madison somewhere in there):

Daniel Uzupis is watching a documentary and just heard a nurse midwife say, in so many words, that obstetricians were unnecessary not because they were superfluous, but because they knew nothing of the birthing process. Really?

Daniel Uzupis: Were I a redneck, I’d be firing my pistol at the screen.

JB: I hate the stupidity of those fucking idiots. Really.

Daniel Uzupis: Seriously, I’m not a physician and I even know a few things about Evidence-Based Medicine.

Jane Doe: but sometimes they do things that aren’t natural…or at least make the birthing process a less than a human function,,,I sometimes feel they forget there is a person attached to that vagina!!!!

Girls!! alittle help here!!!!!

Daniel Uzupis: Natural does not mean better, Jane. You of all people should know that. The nurse midwife said that doctors essentially knew nothing, and that was the fault of hospital birth. She stated that nurse midwives were the best option because obstetricians, who we both know study for four years on top of medical school, are entirely ignorant of the birthing process.

Keep in mind, you’re an ambassador for your healthcare organization. You wouldn’t want to say anything that would reflect poorly upon the qualifications of the clinicians or your boss. Or maybe you do, so mutual friends can determine where *not* to receive care.

Besides, we all know that nurse midwives pawn-off a pregnancy to an obstetrician at the *first* sign of trouble, which means that they truly are idiots if they’re passing off a complex delivery to one of those ignorant physicians.

Actually, Jane, I have a better idea: Put your money where your mouth is. If you feel that what your healthcare organization does is unnatural, why don’t you change careers and move to a different specialty or new industry altogether? It sounds to me like you think you know more than the chairman and every other attending physician there who is highly specialized in evidence-based OB/GYN. Perhaps you should petition to teach a course on how to deliver children properly?

Jane Doe: Daniel, my dear….I am not professing any such thing…and I did say “sometimes”….things happen there, and I am glad there are docs there, believe me!! and I am the first one to say…Yes, get an epidural!!and call anesthesia so fast their heads are spinning…. and yes, there are midwives who try to go above and beyond and handle things that are truly out of their league!! but sometimes you can be working with a patient…trying to get them to push a baby out and finally getting things happening, having them turning and squatting..etc.., the baby is crowning..and then “they” come in and want to do everything “normal” which in some cases, wasn’t working to begin with, and becomes a power struggle which I detest, cause no one wins, certainly not the patient…some things just can’t come from a textbook, maybe that’s the point the midwife was trying to make!!!!!! thanks, gotta go watch elvis & bruce!!!! :)

We, as nurses, do try and educate residents/students…most of us have been doing this for alot longer then people spend in medical school…..Obstetrician means to ” watch”

Daniel Uzupis: Jane, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

JB: THE END ?!

MK: I went to bed early one night, and look what happens! The progeny is coming out whether there is someone there to catch or not. The ultimate goal is a live, breathing, responsive future member of a society gone mad. Things go badly quickly in labor. Education, evidence based decisions, experience and interaction with the patient may help prevent a disaster, ignorance will not.

Jane Doe: Daniel…come down to L&D, put on scrubs and put your money where your mouth is!! I would love to see you do it!! You really didn’t have to get nasty though, did you????I don’t see how sitting around in a coffee shop staring at a laptop qualifies you to comment on delivering babies….

MP: FATALITY! Daniel Wins! Insert 2 Credits To Continue. 10. 9. 8…

Jane Doe: You are such “girls”…

JB: Ad hominem, how I love thee.

CCP: this is hilarious.

Daniel Uzupis: Jane, I would be more than happy to put my money where my mouth is. In fact, I’m copying and pasting the whole of this comment thread in an e-mail to Dr. [redacted], the Chairman of Obstetrics and Gynecology, and Dr. [redacted], the Director of Medical Education, so they can determine how best to train doctors henceforth.</sarcasm>

You obviously know very little about medicine without continuing your medical education with evidence-based research and insisting upon supplementing your knowledge with highly subjective anecdotal experience. My suggestion: Get a subscription to several peer-reviewed medical/OB-GYN journals and ask to join morning report with the residents, students, and attending physicians.

I do not sit in a coffee shop staring at a laptop all day. In fact, I spend most of my day reading, studying, writing my doctoral dissertation, and questioning anecdotal evidence to reach a higher truth. Furthermore, I don’t practice medicine, nor am I qualified to do so; so asking that I deliver a child would simply be a stark reminder of your poor decision-making skills in medicine.

Cheers!

Jane Doe: I’m sure that Dr. [redacted] & Dr. [readacted] would really give a shit about FB….I didn’t ask you to deliver a baby, jackass, I invited you to come down and witness the “miracle of birth” on the unit and see for yourself how it takes not only technical skills and evidence-based research to deliver a baby, but also caring human beings who sometimes need to adapt to different situations and accommodate the various cultures and beliefs of the patients we care for. There are gray areas Daniel in medicine, but you wouldn’t know that because you are so busy searching for a higher truth….I suggest you visit the real world. You don’t know what journals I do or do not read, I didn’t know you were such a peckerhead, although, I have suspected it for awhile.

Daniel Uzupis: This isn’t about Facebook, Jane, it’s about your qualifications as a healthcare employee. I may be a dick, but that doesn’t make me wrong. And when I say higher truth, to what I’m referring are *facts*, not your subjective and highly anecdotal interpretation of evidence-based medicine.

I know what clinicians do; I spent a solid two years in [redacted] seeing just how a clinic functions and tailoring an EMR to medical education in a clinical environment. I understand patient care and I know what it entails. But I also understand elitism and the healthcare caste system that exists between nurses and physicians.

You, as an RN on a labor floor, can only do what a *physician* tells you to do, which means you spend much of your time engaged in egotistical battles with physicians, who, despite your anecdotal doctorate, know more than you. This is a growing problem I’ve seen with many a young nurse these days: The belief that working directly with patients assumes unlimited knowledge of medical science, patient care, and healthcare administration.

Also, if you’re looking for the correct definition of a ‘miracle’, something birth is *not*, click here: http://bit.ly/1tIZnN

Jane, one last comment before I forget: Don’t confuse bedside manner with evidence-based medicine. We all know there’s a human being involved in the birthing process; two, usually. Unless we’re talking about the Singularity.

CCP: best thread of the day.

JB: This is fucking hilarious, EPIC, et al.

Jane Doe: Thanks for the “young” comment…I’ll take that….but you are a dick.

~~~~

So, after that, I changed my status to reflect my new nickname:

Daniel Uzupis is a “peckerhead” because he will not hesitate to call you out on your lack of qualifications or education.

Jane Doe: you got the first part right, but you know nothing @,me

Daniel Uzupis: I know you have difficulty using a keyboard and applying proper grammar and spelling.

CCP: i like peckerheads. they’re delicious.

Daniel Uzupis: C, I think you mean these: http://bit.ly/al4oQ3

CCP: those are also delicious. but more sour than salty.

JB: I mean, of all the insulting language to use, you come up with peckerhead? Fascinating case.

Jane Doe: just look at him!!!

~~~~

Eventually, the following became Jane’s new status message very shortly before I unfriended her. Shortly thereafter, she sent me rude and threatening direct messages, to which I responded by blocking and reporting her for harassment.

Jane Doe Walking the dog…then off to bed….good night everyone, even peckerhead and his friends

  •   •   •   •   •
2010/12/15 by Daniel Uzupis

Spiders

“Where are we going?”

“Shopping,” Ian said; walking so swiftly and naturally, the words seemed more a thought than an action. Moving briskly past the entrance and in between sales displays, Ian approached a wall display of plastic toys; bright colors lining the wall.

Ambling behind, Frank sidled up to Ian and asked, “What do you need to get now?”

Ian didn’t hear, his attention focused on the task at hand. Looking to his left, away from Frank, he reached out and removed a plastic package from the metal hanger and inspected it. Frank sighed and lifted his arm to check the time. He left the watch at home, at the apartment. Slightly anxious at his lapse in memory, he began looking around for a clock, eventually settling his gaze on a young, blond female employee. He glanced long enough at her to look back and smile. Looking to the ground, he started in, “We’re gonna be late. Stephanie is waiting for me. I told her I’d be there at quarter to seven.”

No response.

“Ian.”

“Hmph?”

“Ian! I need to pick up Stephanie. Are you finished?”

“Do these look real to you?” Ian didn’t turn to Frank, but instead held his arm outstretched for Frank to see a black plastic spider in his hand.

“What?”

“These. Do they look real to you?”

“I… I don’t… What?”

“Excuse me, miss!” It sounded like a question.

“Yes, sir?” As the girl approached, Frank became even more anxious, slightly uncomfortable with her closeness. Frank tried to avoid eye contact, staring at his shoes and twisting his feet on the tile floor.

“Do these look real to you?” Ian handed her the spider, still not looking at anyone but the package.

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to find any in my bed.” Her response had a playful tone and she glanced at Frank just long enough for it to feel meaningful; it was. Turning her body to Frank and shifting her weight to the other hip, she dropped the spider in his hand. “What do you think?”

Frank was startled, but mustered a smile. “We have to get going, thanks.”

Frank was never good with women, his interactions lacked confidence and poise, characteristics of which he was acutely aware but could never seem to correct. Stephanie was different for this reason because she embraced these qualities. She had grown weary of men who used intoxication as an open invitation to conversation. Drunken bragging about cars and electronics were somewhere near the bottom of her list of admirable traits, traits Frank wouldn’t and couldn’t display.

She met Frank through work. Occasionally he would accompany his coworkers to happy hour celebrations at random bars in town and Stephanie would watch him read and write as she made conversation with the girls in marketing. Frank would sit alone at the bar, often with several books; one for reading, another for writing. It was Ian who introduced them.

“Frank?”

“Hmph?”

“Frank, right? Your friend just walked over there, to the seasonal-holiday section. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, thanks. Thanks… Jenn.” How could he be expected to read a name tag so close to her breasts? How is that even fair?

Frank found Ian huddled over three boxes, each five feet in length and one foot square in diameter with a small decal of a Christmas tree on the side. Ian reached into his pocket and pulled out a switchblade. The knife clicked into place and Ian inserted the blade into the corner of one box and carefully ran it around the perimeter. Pulling back the cardboard lid, he dropped to his knees and ruffled through the plastic pine needles. He set two spiders just below the first few folds of tree branches and completed the same process on the other two boxes.

“Did you need help, sir?” It was Jenn. She wasn’t talking to Ian, but Frank.

Ian replied, “No thanks, darlin’, we’re just fine. Frank didn’t believe me that these trees look and feel like the real thing. That is, sans the scent and spiders.”

“You know, you don’t need to open the boxes. That model is on display right there,” and she pointed to the tree looming just over Ian’s head.

Turning to the tree and back to Jenn, “Just making sure the merchandise looks the same as it does on display. These lights can be deceiving.” Ian motioned to the lights with his hand and winked at Frank. Jenn walked back to the front of the store.

Frank became increasingly agitated not only at Ian’s apparent lack of discretion but also the way he lied to people. “Jenn wasn’t doing anything wrong; just leave the poor girl alone and let’s go,” he thought.

“The tape, hand me the packing tape.”

“You can’t be serious.”

Sternly, “hand me the tape, this needs to look good.”

“Where is it?”

Ian moved his eyes to signal the location, disapproval growing in his previously blank expression. Frank forcefully threw the tape at Ian who caught it effortlessly and continued with his work, deftly wrapping the edge of each box with clear packaging tape. He hadn’t paid for the tape or the spiders but it didn’t matter. Moving with such confidence no one would ever question him. Ian slid the boxes back into place on the low shelves.

Ian darted for the door leading to the parking lot, Frank close on his heels. In situations like this, Frank oftentimes would step too closely to Ian, making his movements clumsy and erratic. It gave him away.

“This isn’t Project Mayhem and you aren’t some modern-day Tyler Durden.”

Unfazed, “I’ll drive,” said Ian. His actions deliberate and mechanical, he reached the car, unlocked it, sat down, buckled in, and started the vehicle without faltering. He stared forward at Frank, who standing in the beam of the now-lit headlights held his arms out on either side with his shoulders shrugged slightly. Confused and flustered, Frank lowered his stance and walked to the car, mumbling.

  •   •   •   •   •
2010/03/03 by Daniel Uzupis

Sociotechnical systems and enabling IS/T workers

As a computer-enabled employee, you have likely encountered Draconian computing policies common amongst modern organizations. From a support perspective, the reasoning is simple: IT departments are small, lean, and cannot maintain the infrastructure if they revert to laissez-faire management methodologies. From a user-based perspective, support is irrelevant; IT is a utility, a black-box device with which users interact, knowing little of the repercussions of their actions—only their needs. Using a computer at home is vastly dissimilar to utilization at the corporate level, but only because organizational requirements affect the implementation and usage of information systems and technology (IS/T). Such requirements may come in the form of user rights and privileges, bandwidth restrictions, Internet browser limitations, and choice of operating system.

Computers are tools; they provide a means to an end unparalleled with previous technologies. IS/T should enable users, allowing them to engage their work in meaningful and innovative ways (Doctorow, 2009). Sociotechnical systems define such IS/T interactions as technological compatibility with [user] workflow (Katz, 2003). Therefore, recognizing the working relationship between users and technology is the very foundation of effective IS/T implementations (Yang, Moon, & Rowley, 2009).

Organizations should not seek to inhibit their employees, of which Doctorow (2009) makes a very prescient argument; yet the integration of service level agreements (SLA) into IS/T have a substantial impact on infrastructure performance requirements (Hartley, 2005; Karten, 2004). Sociotechnical systems may take into account externalities; however, acceptance and perception of organizational computing policies through SLA’s may detract from their efficacy.

Consider the healthcare industry, one fraught with regulatory requirements from both HIPAA and ARRA to increase patient safety and privacy, whilst minimizing administrative costs (Blumenthal, 2009; Hamelburg, 2009). Clinical information systems (CIS) embody these goals by digitizing the patient medical record. No longer are hospitals relying on paper-analogue methods for clinical documentation, the medical record is now a centralized, evolving document that contains history, encounter information, and laboratory results. The level of data immediately available to clinicians is staggering, but it comes at a cost to flexibility.

Ignoring the diversity in CIS vendor offerings, a basic implementation would consist of servers, workstations, network infrastructure, and software. Each component provides a specific function, and the failure of any results in a failure of the whole. The aforementioned user-perception of IS/T as a utility impedes worker comprehension of their actions on the collective infrastructure. Essentially, individual users have no concept of their singular actions on system-wide functionality. At the final stage of this model, speed, reliability, and stability influence clinician workflow. If a virus outbreak occurs, increases in latency may inhibit clinician documentation or physician access to emergent information. For an industry in which time is a crucial factor, this is unacceptable.

The integration of a code of conduct seeks to minimize the impact of risky computing behavior, but not through ethical corporate compliance. Instead, these restrictions on computer use originate from IS/T departments, whose objectives are not always consistent with the collective needs of the organization (Healy & Iles, 2002). This suggests IS/T departments are inhibiting the success of sociotechnical systems based on control, not alignment with organization goals.

Referring to the healthcare example, not everyone in a hospital uses a CIS, thus rendering the previous model inconsistent for the whole of an organization. This returns to the sociotechnical systems need to accommodate employees with appropriate IS/T solutions. Insofar as clinical documentation, speed, reliability, and stability are integral, although that represents only a fraction of the company. For marketing, human resources, research, or academics, a permissive strategy to IS/T implementation addresses changing social needs. Dynamic changes to IS/T as a function of organizational culture are a fundamental method by which businesses meet the needs of users and subsequently, the organization (Bieberstein, Bose, Walker, & Lynch, 2005; Yang, Moon, & Rowley, 2009).

IS/T leaders must recognize the balance inherent in sociotechnical systems. Adequate collaboration between IS/T departments and business units is necessary to establish solutions that underscore the organization’s mission and the needs of employees. This may not create a paradigm shift in user perception of their collective impact on infrastructure; however, enabling employees to innovate is far more important. The goal of any corporate IS/T department should be to provide users with precisely the tools they need to suit their efforts. Similarly, the goal of any business unit should be to facilitate these behaviors.

Bieberstein, N., Bose, S., Walker, L., & Lynch, A. (2005). Impact of service-oriented architecture on enterprise systems, organizational structures, and individuals. IBM Systems Journal, 44(4), 691.

Blumenthal, D. (2009). Stimulating the adoption of health information technology. The New England Journal of Medicine, 360(15), 1477.

Doctorow, C. (2009, March 12). The high priests of IT—and the heretics. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved March 2, 2010, from http://blogs.hbr.org/now-new-next/2009/03/the-high-priests-of-it.html.

Hamelburg, M. (2009). EHR and HIT incentives in the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. Intellectual Property & Technology Law Journal, 21(6), 7.

Hartley, K. L. (2005). Defining effective service level agreements for network operation and maintenance. Bell Labs Technical Journal, 9(4), 139-143.

Healy, M., & Iles, J. (2002). The establishment and enforcement of codes. Journal of Business Ethics, 39(1/2), 117.

Karten, N. (2004). With service level agreements, less is more. Information Systems Management, 21(4), 43-44.

Katz, R. (2003). The human side of managing technological innovation (2nd ed.). New York: Oxford University Press.

Scott, W. R. & Davis, G. F. (2007). Organizations and organizing: Rational, natural, and open system perspectives. New York: Prentice Hall.

Yang, H., Moon, Y., & Rowley, C. (2009). Social influence on knowledge worker’s adoption of innovative information technology. The Journal of Computer Information Systems, 50(1), 25-36.

  •   •   •   •   •
2010/02/27 by Daniel Uzupis

In which the limitations of hiring managers are discussed

CareerBuilder.com sent me a short publication today, detailing the present status of the job market and their recommendations for improving my chances at employment. For I have been living on Mars for the past decade. Under a rock in a cave. With my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears (Simpsons reference).

Whilst the magazine espouses the usual job related nonsense, offering incredibly pedestrian methods of improving your manna pool, I feel obliged to focus on the one area that continues to contradict itself in terms of practicality: Minimum criteria requirements.

Although I discussed this somewhat at length in a previous post, I must mention it again, if for nothing other than strictly vitriolic reasons. Information systems and technology (IS/T) is not a straightforward industry and its foundational principles fail to adhere to the pedantic criteria posed by hiring managers. In fact, some of my most rewarding interviews were with prospective IS/T coworkers as opposed to human resources due primarily to the fact that the latter has no concept of IS/T nor what it entails.
Apparently, IS/T employment comes down to three particular factors:

  1. Does a candidate meet the minimum criteria for the position?
  2. Is the candidate still in the running even after she has stated her requirements or wishes for the position?
  3. Does the candidate bring more to the table than the defined position requirements?

What organizations should be doing is removing items one and two altogether. Employee requirements are a matter of negotiation and wholly subjective, not a rational or relevant method of determining competency. Regarding the first and third factor, the third suggests that the minimum criteria are already measurable and present. What I propose is a new model for hiring based upon [prospective] skill and not artificial selection.

A few years back I read a post on Slashdot regarding the prospect of obtaining certification to improve marketability. I recall the rancorous rivalry between those who believed education and certification indicate a basic level of proficiency and those who believed willingness to learn and demonstrable experience trump the former. That leads me to another assumption all too typical of myopic and facile managers: too much experience or extensive knowledge is dangerous.

I recall two such incidents illustrating the insubstantial means by which employers select candidates. One of my neighbors was made redundant in the late 1990’s and at an interview he was told that he had too much experience. “You have experience with products ‘A’ through ‘Z’ and we want someone only familiar with ‘A’ through ‘B.’”

At one interview, I was told that my ambitious stride toward a doctorate was a red flag because someone with both a B.S. and M.S. would find it hard to function in this organization. Perhaps I’m mistaken, but that’s not the kind of accolade employees should bestow upon their company: “Don’t work here if you have a college degree, you won’t like it.” How can that possibly instill me with confidence? On an aside, the VP of the Human Resources Department also claimed that Bucks County Community College wasn’t a real school, nor was any for-profit university. Out of deference, I abstained from reproach not deeming it worthwhile to explain that the for-profit schools she mentioned have the same accreditation as their NFP counterparts, or that BCCC offers an excellent education for the cost and location.

Just to put this into perspective: BCCC offers more in-depth software administration courses for their computer degrees than did DeSales University when I attended the latter. I didn’t get a chance to touch Windows Server until I took initiative and began working with it independently to learn the basics after I graduated. In fact, the only way a DSU student could was through an external internship. Technical support and Microsoft Windows administration were not taught, period. The most advanced computer courses at DeSales University were Microsoft Office and introductory courses to HTML, C, Perl, PHP, and SQL. The C++ classes had an intermediate course, as well; however, that only required students to learn how to write and read to and from a file, to give you an idea of curriculum depth. The courses for modern operating systems and computer architecture were only valuable for the literature (Andrew S. Tanenbaum is a genius and I reread two of his books post-DSU for good measure). Essentially, my luminous, pricey, and accredited brick-and-mortar education didn’t prepare me for even an entry-level technical support job after graduation.

Taking a step back: does the candidate bring more to the table than the defined position requirements? An affirmative suggests a willingness to learn, which may mean experience beyond core responsibilities and innovative contributions. Furthermore, organizations have substantial difficulty discerning between universal technical experience and knowledge of one particular technology, for instance, the singular technology in which they require proficiency. Here’s the rub: investment in a non-specific IS/T trade may be bereft of the precise prerequisite the organization is eager to address, doubly so if Byzantine hiring policies inhibit efficacy of the applicant’s endeavors.

“I may have my MCSE, but I have only been using Windows Server as a hobby,” might as well be a death rattle if you have not been using Windows Server in a professional environment for 10 years. (I love job applications that define the minimum requirement for employment as 10 years of experience for products that didn’t exist for that long, like Windows Server 2008. Small oversights like that are a strong identifier of who wrote it and who is reviewing your résumé.)

But how, precisely, is that evidence of a lack of skill or knowledge? We’re talking about Microsoft Windows, one of the simplest operating systems to use for its consistent graphical user interface, numerous wizards, and tree-based configuration menus. That’s nothing like switching to a command-line interface in Linux, but I digress.

The takeaway is this: don’t discount the hobbyists, the self-motivated learners. Those are precisely the individuals who can grow into a job, evolve as an innovative member of an organization. Education and certification are an excellent means to an end, but if that prospective employee is nothing more than a professional test-taker, no amount of paper will save your datacenter. Consider the type of employee that best represents allegiance to your company’s mission. Do you want a cog, or a transformational leader?

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2010/02/22 by Daniel Uzupis

Sysadmins

I really have to hand it to Randall Munroe of XKCD fame for his latest comic. Having worked in healthcare information systems and technology (IS/T) for roughly five years, I cannot think of a better example of our service-based economy. Consider again that comic, the hardworking system administrator awoken in the middle of the night, mere hours before they’re required to be at work, just so they can restart an OS service or repair hardware. Because any uptime lower than 99.9% is just too damn hard to bear. Moreover, although the content of a sysadmin’s occupation may be a full order of magnitude above a rank and file employee whose employer can make small concessions, I think sysadmin responsibilities are something worth discussing in greater detail.

Going back to my experience as a clinical systems analyst, I recall how often I was required to perform “on call” duties with each of my jobs. With most IS/T jobs a 15-minute response time from the point of service is average, the resolution time for the problem may vary between one business day to five and that depends entirely upon the industry and service-level agreements (SLA). Now, before I continue, it’s important to recognize that 99.9% uptime is absolutely critical for some [hospital] applications. In fact, anything lower than 100% uptime would be highly undesirable and borderline dangerous depending upon the circumstances. Nevertheless, we need to acknowledge the impossibility of flawless redundancy in light of financial and technological restrictions (Sauvé, Moura, & Marques, 2009).

For example, let’s say the Help Desk at a hospital receives a phone call from a nurse at 7:30PM, not late for most people. The Help Desk Specialist records the call data and rings me with the details. I now have 15 minutes to respond until my backup (another clinical systems analyst) is called and a further 15 (30 minutes total) before my manager is contacted to escalate the issue. Fortunately for me, I get the call in time, understand the issue, and solve the problem over the phone; a simple data entry failure. This would be a best-case scenario. This is highly symptomatic of nervous or uneducated systems users, and attempting data entry a second time might have corrected the issue without wasting my time, the Help Desk’s time, or—more importantly—the nurse’s time. Furthermore, this raises an important question regarding healthcare IS/T efficacy: Why did the nurse not simply place the order with an analogue system in lieu of clinical information system (CIS) failure?

When considering the infeasibility of 100% system uptime, it is reasonable to maintain an analogue system juxtaposed with the superior digital alternative.

In other words, if an important business function can only occur through one system and that system is prone to failure, that function should automatically fail over to an alternative without disruption. Unfortunately in IS/T, this often becomes a customer service issue, a call to the oft-stated “IT as a utility” mantra, a hindrance to the perceived efficacy of any IT department and requiring more than just technical expertise (Murnan, 2003). But if Landry and Koger’s (2006) thorough analysis of disaster recovery suggests anything, it’s that your organization is invariably at risk. Whether that risk is environmental, political, or technological, there will always be a threat to infrastructure uptime.

What pertinence this has to system administration is the specious reasoning on which remote support hinges. Maintaining high levels of remote support for systems that should be capable of functioning reliably or without technology at all seems intrinsic to poor leadership.

Consider again the aforementioned healthcare example. What if a CIS failed and a patient’s chart was unavailable for emergency surgery? Or the cluelessness of an intern who suddenly realizes she’s lost the skill to write a paper chart because she’s so well-adjusted to an electronic medical record (EMR)? If any system requires significant uptime to maintain core business competencies, it is negligent to assume work can be done remotely or needs to be done at all. The solution is rather simple: maintain permanent operations staff to ensure redundancy and 100% uptime, or train users to failover to an analogue process. That said; make sure you have an analogue process. Disrupting sysadmins for issues that could easily wait until the following morning illustrates poor perception of system uptime requirements by both technical and non-technical departments. In the case of reverting to paper medical records, a successful CIS would have the ability to retroactively scan and archive the document as though completed electronically.

This is not an excuse to eliminate “on call” responsibilities for sysadmins, but rather to illustrate the growing customer service demands on IS/T support that do not address serious failures within an organization’s infrastructure. Sysadmins should be a last resort; you should have the reliability and support present within your organization to eliminate (or at least, minimize) the need for remote system administration.

Landry, B. J. & Koger, M. S. (2006). Dispelling 10 common disaster recovery myths: Lessons learned from Hurricane Katrina and other disasters. Journal on Educational Resources in Computing, 6(4).

Murnan, C. A. (2003). Deep in the heart of client services: It’s not just about hardware and software. Proceedings of the 31st Annual ACM SIGUCCS Conference on User Services. New York, NY: ACM.

Sauvé, J., Moura, A., & Marques, F. (2009). Business-driven design of infrastructures for IT services. Journal of Network and Systems Management, 17(4), 422-456.

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2010/02/01 by Daniel Uzupis

Dr. Abstinence, or How I learned to stop worrying and check facts on adolescent sexual behavior

From NPR, the result of a recent study of abstinence-only education suggests that it may be effective (James, 2010). As mentioned in both the article and study,

“Two years after completing the program, a survey showed that the abstinence training was effective in getting 67% of the kids to delay having sex. That’s compared to 48% of students in another group who only received basic health information” (Jemmott, Jemmott, & Fong, 2010).

Unfortunately, the evidence only forms a correlation to delaying sexual behavior, as opposed to halting it or inhibiting the spread of sexually transmitted infection (STI), which abstinence-only education may actually encourage (Brückner & Bearman, 2005). The failure of reporting a partial analysis of adolescent sexual behaviors is that it insinuates abstinence-only education reduces STI rates when it merely postpones sexual activity, having no impact on the aforementioned risks. The most telling results are that condom usage was unaffected by abstinence-only education and, “other studies have shown that abstinence only programs are not effective,” yet Jemmott, et al. neglect to specify how those previous studies are lacking (2010).

The research may correlate to a reduction in sexual partners; however, that assumes fewer partners will result in automatic reductions of STI’s, which the authors exclude from the content of this study. Considering this new evidence, should parents be concerned primarily with postponing sexual activity, or rather acknowledging that teenagers engage in it and therefore providing appropriate education and guidance?

Brückner , H. & Bearman, P. (2005). After the promise: The STD consequences of adolescent virginity pledges. Journal of Adolescent Health, 36(4), 271-278.
James, F. (2010). Abstinence-only education works according to new study. NPR. Retrieved February 1, 2010, from NPR: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2010/02/abstinenceonly_education_works.html.
Jemmott III, J. B., Jemmott, L. S., & Fong, G. T. (2010). Efficacy of a theory-based abstinence-only intervention over 24 months: A randomized controlled trial with young adolescents. Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine, 164(2), 152-159.

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2010/01/31 by Daniel Uzupis

How did I miss this?

After hearing me prattle on for nearly twenty minutes in an online conversation about my previous blog post, a friend emailed me this link. Although da Vinci’s content would hardly translate to my professional acumen, I’ve apparently overlooked one key flaw in my job applications: I am telling prospective employers what I have done for other organizations rather than telling them what I can do for them. The author of Stone, Marc, writes:

You’ll notice he doesn’t recite past achievements. He doesn’t mention the painting of the altarpiece for the Chapel of St Bernard; he doesn’t provide a laundry list of past bombs he’s built; he doesn’t cite his prior employment in artist Andrea di Cione’s studio. No, he does none of these things, because those are about his achievements, and not about the Duke’s needs. Instead, he sells his prospective employer on what he can do for him.

To be honest, I’m rather startled that this had not occurred to me sooner, particularly with the granularity of my cover letter and résumé. I’ve apparently placed so much effort into the process of detailing my expertise that I assumed the reader would understand precisely how that interprets to the job for which I’m applying.

At the very least, the Stone post is great advice.

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2010/01/29 by Daniel Uzupis

In which my qualifications are discussed

Several friends were helpful enough to draw attention to open positions at a nearby university; one of which I applied to posthaste. Although I am grateful that they forwarded my résumé to the appropriate hiring manager, in addition to my electronic submission on the university’s web site, the reply my friend received contained this discouraging message:

“One final thing, with his knowledge and experience in clinical/medical systems he may [sic] a very interesting candidate for IT positions at the Med School, Nursing or Hospital Systems.”

Now, despite the fact that he did not intend it this way, the content of this sentence illustrates a problem that has dogged me for three years professionally; something I seriously doubt will change with time. No one considers me a prime candidate for any information systems/technology (IST) job outside of the healthcare industry. For some peculiar reason my professional and intellectual growth in IST is hindered by the underlying conviction that I am competent only in healthcare. The trouble is this: There is no difference between healthcare information systems/technology and every other industry. The principles, hardware, operating systems, project management; they’re all the same.

Surprised?

The principles I’ve learned and applied throughout my career are not healthcare-specific, only the software is; however, when discussing software, isn’t that irrelevant? Software differs between organizations and fields. Why does it matter that most of my business-software experience comes in the form of clinical software? Considering I have experience with roughly nine different clinical applications, it’s reasonable to assume that I can rapidly learn computer applications. Furthermore, both of my degrees are in information systems, technology, and management; my doctoral work, too. I have not one degree in a healthcare-related field. Of course, I should also mention that higher degrees do not translate to instant employment, despite what you may have heard whilst listening to the State of the Union address on Wednesday evening. I was made redundant holding a Master of Science in Information Systems and Management simply because I was hired last in the department.

However, let’s take a step back and look at my experience. I’m fluent in Microsoft Office. I use Windows XP, Vista, and Server in my home, just as I have at work. My primary laptop and desktop use Ubuntu and CentOS Linux with Fedora in virtualization. I even own an Apple PowerBook with OS X Leopard. Working primarily with healthcare IST changes nothing with regard to my expertise in those applications, nor the hardware on which it’s run.

To be honest, I think hiring managers are confusing my knowledge with biomedical equipment, which is completely different. Unfortunately, anecdotal experience exposes a lot of biomedical hardware as nothing more than a Windows XP computer running clinical software, the only defining characteristic being FDA certification. That aside, what mistakes am I making in the job application process?

Truthfully, it’s my résumé; my résumé details my last four jobs, three of which took place in a healthcare environment. I can’t very well remove the past five years of work experience, and I can’t add more, lest I break three pages. I’m certain that hiring managers balk at the apparent lack of experience in other fields, yet project management, software training, technical support, and system administration are universal tasks throughout the IST industry. There’s no lack of experience when these skills translate to nearly every business.

What is even more shocking is how organizations will pass judgment on my résumé because I don’t have experience using a particular clinical application. Essentially, I’m being declined for non-healthcare IST jobs on the basis of having too much clinical experience, then being ignored for healthcare IST jobs because I don’t have experience with a subtle variation of an electronic health record. Coincidentally, hospitals customize some software packages to the point that one implementation differs entirely from every other hospital. Yet employers still expect an applicant to have specific experience with that brand of software even if extensive customization invalidates their familiarity. This requirement stands, despite ad hoc training to acclimate a prospective employee to software they’re already supposed to know.

I suppose the most telling encounter relating to this issue was during my final month with my last employer. The Department of Human Resources was thoughtful enough to review my résumé and suggest improvements. Alas, the HR representative glanced at it briefly, looked up, and said, “I can’t really offer much advice. It looks good, but it’s tough to tell when it comes to these IT résumés. It’s not easy to quantify your experience like you can with other fields.”

I won’t deny that filled me with low to moderate confidence, but it does say something about the state of IST employment. I’m hoping that my luck will change in the next few weeks, but I’m still concerned my ‘specialized’ experience will discount me from most work. I just have to keep moving forward.

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